Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Snowmobiling Part deux

The second part of the snowmobiling experience is a very fitting analogy as well.
Trust the guide...

Sometimes the guide gets off and points to the accelerator.
He explains where the brakes are and then sits in the back,
nodding that I should trust,
but I'm going to need to take some action if I want to get home.
It's another form of trust.

"Trust me when I say you can do it."
"Take it slow and you'll be fine."
"But take it - I'll be here on the back of the sled."

There's a little less guidance.
It's not that He's gone.
Or that He's throwing me into something I can't handle,
but that doesn't mean I feel in control.
Or that I feel like a seasoned driver.
I have to concentrate and think through each move.
I have Him holding on me, instead of holding on as tightly as I feel I need to.

He's not gone.
He's just asking me to stretch myself a bit.
And if it feels a little like there's an accident waiting to happen.
Chances are, He's trustworthy,
And He knows that I'll be fine
And maybe even better for it in the end.



Monday, February 18, 2008


Another night where there is lots to be done -
And so, I guess it's time to blog.

For the record, my garage door is broken again and I think I may have to call in an actual repair guy. I may wait until summer. The current downside (besides opening and closing the door on my own) is that the light inside the garage doesn't go on automatically without the door opening and closing on its own. That was a lovely safety feature for me in the back alley when I pulled in and out late at night. I figure that in due time it will be light enough and warm enough and I won't care about opening and closing the door. Then I can tackle it again myself or call someone to help me when I'm actually home to greet them.

We had Louis Riel day here - so no school.
The folks around here aren't sure if that's a fitting name or not.
An important person in the history of Manitoba,
but he was hung for treason following the 1885 Red River Rebellion.
Worth celebrating?
Either way, I was just glad for a day off.

I went with some friends to their cottage.
I did some reading,
some dozing,
some more reading,
some snowmobiling -
oh, did I mention snowmobiling?
And there was a hot tub, too.
All very good.

A few randomly connected/disconnected thoughts.
I'm much happier as a passenger than as a driver on the snowmobile.
Generally I like to be in control -
but I'm not familiar with snowmobiles,
and am therefore not really in control when I'm in the driver's seat.
At the same time,
I have no trouble sitting behind someone whom I'm totally trust.
I let him drive
and enjoyed the speed
the scenery
the freedom.
All very good.

Last night we took the kids out to a warm up shack and built a fire in it
just for a mini-adventure.
We went when it was totally dark out.
We went a few at a time as we had more people than snowmobiles.
Someone had closed the vents on my helmet
so as soon as the visor was down, it and my glasses totally fogged up.
I couldn't see a thing.
But I didn't really care.
At first I thought it was strange.
It totally put me into my own world.
And at the same time,
it demanded only one thing of me.
I had to hold on,
lean for turns when it seemed my driver did the same.
Sometimes I would catch a glimpse of something close to the top of the visor as it wasn't quite as foggy above my eyes.

Seems like the story of God and me somehow.
Sometimes I feel like I'm totally in the dark.
But I get glimpses here and there
of what He's doing in
and with my life.
Funny thing.
All He asks of me is to trust
and to obey.
To hold on for the ride
and obediently lean in the right direction when He or His Word show me what that is.
All He is asks of me is to trust Him
and know that He will get me to my destination.
Here's to letting Him drive
to enjoying the speed -
or the not so speedy parts -
the scenery
the freedom.

Saturday, February 02, 2008


A lot can happen in a year.
I guess a lot can not happen, too.

Someone said to me today that today last year doesn't seem like that long ago.
And I had to agree.
And disagree all at the same time.

Usually it seems like the bigger number is more.
Today, 1 year sounds like a long time.
365 days seems like nothing.

However, in 365 days, which seems like nothing,
I have been blessed with new friends - who in many ways seem like they have been a part of my life for years.
Truth be told, I can't really imagine not having them around.

In 1 year (11 months), I have driven a new Corolla
which some days seems like brand new,
and other days still makes me want my old one back.

In 1 year, I have healed, grieved, lost, and rebuilt a friendship.

In 365 days I have watched every episode of all 7 seasons of Gilmore Girls.
Okay, so that took way less than 365 days.

In 365 days my dad gave my yard a face lift and re-furnished my office to make the mess more manageable (Yes - it's still relatively a mess...but differently so!), and came to help me buy a new car.

In 1 year, I have learned that some things will be eternally frustrating.
In 1 year, I have learned that I will never understand how much and how deeply God loves me.
I will also never understand why He needs to break me so often in order to build me.

In 365 days, I have started to wear pink again.
In 365 days, I have grown because of grief shared with a friend - which should seem, it would seem, like a year -
but in His own plan of events, God changed it into some great days.

I guess there's a lot I could say.
And I lot that I'll never be able to explain enough to make it make sense.

But I'm glad I heard laughter tonight - and a willing spirit.
I'm glad I had my "family" to spend almost every evening with this week.
I'm glad that I have meetings to occupy the evenings of the week ahead.
And I'm looking forward to being able to tackle the next 365 days with a different kind of start.

Here's hoping.