Sometimes we need reminders.
Sometimes I need reminders.
Like 5 screens worth of alarms on my phone.
A calendar that is linked with work, home, and Ken - all full of reminders of things we need to do or places we need to be.
As I work my way through pre-op appointments, I have sometimes felt the repetition. What meds are you taking, what are your allergies, have you had previous surgeries?
But I know they ask to be sure; to confirm and double check. You would hate for something to get missed.
There is repetition in other places. I have told my story a few times in the last month. ;)
Trying to keep people updated.
Trying to remind myself of the truth that one-day-at-a-time is much better for my mental heath than jumping ahead to the what-ifs and yeah-buts.
I am thankful for the little encouragements along the way. For people who step in and affirm the truths that I see in my good moments and know in my heart but struggle to find in the hard moments.
With that, 3 pre-ops down, 2 to go. Surgery in 2 weeks.
I have been given a lot of information. Sometimes knowing a lot is good. Sometimes it's hard. But I also know that I need to process and so having information for me is usually helpful.
As long as I also remember the truth of what I know.
One of my favourite verses has always been Revelation 21:5, which reads: "He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”
While I believe wholeheartedly in the first part, it's not actually my favourite part.
I like the part that gets at my human-ness - "Write this down!"
Why? "Because these words are trustworthy and true."
Because in my worries and feeling overwhelmed, I forget.
Because in my world of information and details and other people who also have information and details, I get drawn into more than I can handle. I get pulled into thinking it's on me. Thinking it's all on the date the surgeon picked. Thinking it's all on what symptoms I'm feeling or not feeling. Thinking that I somehow have control of something that is out of my hands.
God has the details.
He clothes the lilies of the field and feeds the birds of the air.
He didn't say, "Write this down," in Matthew 6, but He could have. Because those words are also trustworthy and true.
Tomorrow has enough worries of its own.
2 comments:
Oh my dear girl, I hear you.
My favourite passage is Psalms 16:6. It reassures me that "the boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places."
It tells me that not only does God know me and know my life from beginning to end, but that there is love and care mysteriously woven through it all. I'm not naive enough to think that it means that those boundary lines are drawn when I turn 95, but it does mean that God's love will surround me all the days that I live here and when He welcomes me home. Verse 8 says "With Him at my right hand, I will not be shaken", and the rest of the chapter is as beautiful. This passage helped me through some pretty tough times.
Sara, I know you will struggle and doubt and find trusting hard; you will also know God's love and his care and find trusting comes easy...maybe even all at the same moment. And He's right there in the middle of it all.
All our love and big warm hugs to you, Sara. And to your family.
That is beautifully written. You are strong and have a beautiful heart. You have a community of people behind you. Sending you a big hug 💜
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