I'm not always very good at explaining what goes on in my head.
Writing helps a lot.
That seems to be where my honesty meets my thoughts and emotions.
Funny thing about not being a good explainer -
I'm a teacher.
I hope I'm better at explaining the world than I am at explaining myself.
I've been reading bits and pieces of other people's lives
through emails and blogs and books
and coming to discover that sometimes they say it better than I can.
There's a big part of me that's exhausted.
A big part of me that's okay.
A big part of me that knows that God hasn't
and won't
leave me on my own.
And somehow doors keep opening
and people keep stepping up to the plate
(I think some of them have hit a whole inning on their own for me).
Lots of them I didn't even call in.
But the Head Coach,
He let them know I needed a pinch-hitter.
And there they were.
I don't have a lot of words to describe that in a better way
except to say:
I'm getting a new car.
My students are still alive - and doing well, I think. :)
My marking is finished.
I have been given more time to work on my report cards.
I have a taxi service :) and place to be while my current car is out of commission.
I get to see my dad this week.
I got to chat with my grandma this morning.
I have a student who wants to fail grade 5 so she can be in my class again.
I don't have to make a lunch tomorrow.
I didn't have to make supper on Friday.
I slept in yesterday.
And today.
I'm wearing my favourite sweater...for the lots-of-days in a row.
Only I washed it in between, so now it's even clean!
I had a great email from a good friend.
And as someone else's words put it:
"God is doing exactly what I need Him to do right now -
holding me and not letting me go."
3 comments:
That last line...makes me think...I wish I felt like I was being held onto a little tighter. It all seems rather precarious to me. Like I'm being held with one arm while the other is off fixing something and His face is towards someone else, involved in a conversation with them....Sigh...Once again, the theological deepness, coupled with the vicarious and careless lifestyles at Prov has reduced my level of intellect and understanding to something of a child
Hmm. I am a little confused. Do you mean theological depth, but lack of an actual relationship? Does the theological depth take away from a child-like faith? Because part of that should be...could be...good.
But I know that's not what you're getting at. Heh.
We'll talk soon.
here's the reader's digest version of my thoughs...
Prov = lots and lots of knowledge, interesting, deep, but cluttering, overpowering the simplicity of child-like faith and relationship.
...and stuff, same old, same old
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